Jimmy's Best One Liners | Jimmy Carr

Jimmy Carr
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Jimmy Carr's ultimate one liner compilation! A compilation for people who don't have time for long-winded jokes!
The Official Channel for the biggest face in British comedy (literally the biggest face - it's like the moon.)
For the latest tour dates and tickets: www.jimmycarr.com/live/




12 Jul 2019

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Arrest Fatigue
Arrest Fatigue Vor 8 Stunden
I don’t get the 5 months to live joke... 3:00
WicktexYT Vor 6 Tage
0:55 she was not happy
Nikola Vor 12 Tage
top man
top man Vor 13 Tage
I fucked a girl with 1 leg shoulder used NY cock
Stranger X9
Stranger X9 Vor 15 Tage
miserable old cunt alert at 0.14 and again at 0.54
sed8me Vor 19 Tage
"had to Finish myself off" 🤣 Is that "innocent face" DeadPan..?
jennifer86010 Vor 25 Tage
There's nothing like a Brit comic on crystal methamphetamine.....the only way you can understand his rapid-fire chipmunk speed talk is to be on crystal meth yourself !!
David Tallman
David Tallman Vor Monat
Amazing, I wonder how he thinks of all of these one liners.
Conor Malone
Conor Malone Vor Monat
Jimmy kills it every fucking time.
zondaintheair Vor Monat
I think Jimmy is far to intelligent to go to Center Pukes.
LetsPlayDaily Vor Monat
Your the best comedian ever Jimmy
Squinqz's Life
Squinqz's Life Vor Monat
this video feels like the start of the dvd when it just keeps playing music and random jokes
Leo Timtom
Leo Timtom Vor Monat
` Today my yoga instructor was drunk, which put me in awkward position`, - it was a joke from Stewart Francis.
KingBela Vor Monat
0:54 that woman doesn’t look like she enjoyed the joke
KingBela Vor Monat
Switched the numbers 😅 0:54 is the right one
Michael McGrath
Michael McGrath Vor Monat
What woman at 0:45?
Arkan Perdana
Arkan Perdana Vor Monat
I understand what he says but as an Indonesian can't figure out why it is funny OMG i need more refrence. or vocab?
Bodenlose Dosenhose
Vocab. There aren't really references in this. Just a string of one-liners.
rakwar Vor Monat
A poor compilation of mostly not funny jokes. This guy is much better then what the poster has portrayed here
Jordon Turner
Jordon Turner Vor Monat
Literally the funniest guy ever
Kiwi Bloke.
Kiwi Bloke. Vor Monat
I'm offended lol
Louise Nieder-Heitmann
Make sure to follow @stranahan for critical information on Epstein and how Dershowitz and his side kicks are trying to pretend to expose Dershowitz but actually they are protecting him/themselves and want critical documents sealed. Follow @ali for critical information on various politicians. Follow @jackposobiec for critical news out of DC. Follow @georgwebb for more information on Epstein and many more re weapons dealings etc.
James Bold Comedy
Jimmy inspires me - even though he is a sick bastard indeed of therapy!
SkaterBlades Vor Monat
0:54 That lady in the middle wearing red is not happy XD
Just Sum Geek
Just Sum Geek Vor Monat
Woman in the crowd at 58 seconds looks mortified
ashleelmb Vor Monat
5 minutes of awesomeness!
Russell Jackson
Russell Jackson Vor Monat
world cricket test
lee brown
lee brown Vor Monat
Remember when comedy used to be a thing before the media started saying everything is hate speech, I miss those days
Cristian Gavrilescu
repent yourselves, read the bible, help poor people.
Sofia Vor Monat
Cristian Gavrilescu nah
Amducyas Vor Monat
What's a husbands voice???
daAnder71 Vor Tag
Her* husband's voice. She was blind, he was pretending to be her husband - get it?
Paul Marshall
Paul Marshall Vor Monat
''Who picks up Guide dog shit?''
James A
James A Vor Monat
So it's not that the camera man has a weird fetish with Jimmy ' s face and zooms in on it till all you can see is Jimmy ' s big ,fat,completely enlarged, billboard sized, the grill of a Mack truck after a head on collision, moon shaped face, Jimmy ' s face is just really that big! Funny act though.
Sean Price
Sean Price Vor Monat
69% of these lines aren't even funny
Sean Price
Sean Price Vor Monat
@mc finn fuck
mc finn
mc finn Vor Monat
This comment puts me in an awkward position
Miguel Rodriguez
Maybe i missed it, but light the tampon fuse of this bitch...
jack butters
jack butters Vor Monat
the lady's face at 0:55 is brilliant
sopwithpuppy Vor Monat
Yesterday I saw a transvestite wearing a micro-mini skirt...that showed a lot of balls!
Aboe Bobington
Aboe Bobington Vor Monat
Were you in Clapham, per chance?
dsmyify Vor Monat
Quagmire? Giggidy.
Gokul Suresh
Gokul Suresh Vor Monat
Hate this guy
Sofia Vor Monat
Why are you here then ..
mc finn
mc finn Vor Monat
Found the *cunt*
Derek Harrison
Derek Harrison Vor Monat
but still you manage to be here , to type this
Herbie George
Herbie George Vor Monat
the woman's face in the crowd at 0:50
Rachael Cazian
Rachael Cazian Vor Monat
The omelette line though...😂
del liberate
del liberate Vor Monat
The best one liner from this smug annoying bellend will be his dying breath death rattle/gurgle...
Jim Timber
Jim Timber Vor Monat
A comic genius ! 👍
HORN Aquatics and aviaries
Free tommy
John Karavitis
John Karavitis Vor Monat
Okay, so when's the comedy going to start? [Ba-dump-dump]
Quickfingers Vor Monat
If you want his comeback, you'll have to scrape it off your mum's teeth. Just kidding...she swallowed the lot.
John Karavitis
John Karavitis Vor Monat
Listening to this guy's predictable (and ultimately boring) schtick, and I'm thinking "There but for the grace of God..."
Joe Mmm
Joe Mmm Vor Monat
0:53 damn, she didn't like that one
GameCrawler Vor Monat
She didn't like the one at 0:13 either. Clearly has a distaste for guide dog jokes lol.
Tom The Tit
Tom The Tit Vor Monat
As much as I admire him as a comedian. He’s still utter wank!
Static Void
Static Void Vor Monat
you're a fucking robot. there's no way you have a soul.
Static Void
Static Void Vor Monat
...the weirdest alien motherfucker i've ever seen. he's beyond the spectrum. gross.
Lord Tachanka
Lord Tachanka Vor Monat
*aH aH aHHH*
Joseph O'Neill
Joseph O'Neill Vor Monat
Funny stuff Jimmy thank u!
TKD Chelsea
TKD Chelsea Vor Monat
Can't wait to see him live in November
I don’t get the « who picks up guy dog shit? » joke
LuiDeca Vor Monat
it's the first time i see footage of this show with the live band. is it available anywhere?
Tracey A
Tracey A Vor 25 Tage
its one of his live DVDs but can't remember which one off hand. Might be "making people laugh" from 2010-ish
LuiDeca Vor Monat
@mc finn *laugh track*
mc finn
mc finn Vor Monat
linden pu
linden pu Vor Monat
3:18 what is that separates us from the animals? .... ... the mediterranean sea
Smilin' Vor Monat
Telling my family these jokes
JoeNoobie Vor Monat
What a fucking hack.
Bill Smith
Bill Smith Vor Monat
You are amazing, phenomenal acting.
Diggy dillons
Diggy dillons Vor Monat
What separates us from the animals? *fences*
MrHEC381991 Vor Monat
People with HIV always look depressed, they should have a positive outlook on life. Goodnight....
Justin M
Justin M Vor Monat
His joke about Africa, HIV and mosquitoes is pretty funny too.
Lewis Craig
Lewis Craig Vor Monat
What’s the hardest part about fucking a bald pussy? Putting the nappy back on afterwords
Aye Eye
Aye Eye Vor Monat
How could you not find Jimmy Carr funny 🤷🏾‍♂️ 😂😂😂😂
Eraldo King
Eraldo King Vor Monat
I'm so glad Jimmy Carr made a DE-vid account. He is a comedy genius!
Michael McGrath
Michael McGrath Vor Monat
I’m not sure he made it himself
Nonofya Bidnez
Nonofya Bidnez Vor Monat
The best!
Darryl of Sussex
He was amazing against Nadal today. Truly blessed with talent.
Blazervitch Vor Monat
His mum is Roger Federer
MrDblStop Vor Monat
"I went to see a hypnotist show, and really enjoyed it... Which made me suspicious..." Reminds me of Mitch Hedburg.
Michael Pondo
Michael Pondo Vor Monat
I would love to see. Jimmy roast trumps fat ass. He d have a field day with thst turd.
Brandon White
Brandon White Vor Monat
Damn reptillions are funny.
New Message
New Message Vor Monat
The fact that the very next shot after the lubricant joke looked like his crotch was smoking made me laugh coffee through my nose. Worth it.
wirralBiz media
wirralBiz media Vor Monat
You Have a New Message
Wiji RS
Wiji RS Vor Monat
Just too scripted and too much of a “show” for me with sitcom type punchlines. If he was able fit these jokes in with a natural flow and had a more natural atmosphere it would be better. Just MY opinion.
Wiji RS
Wiji RS Vor Monat
Blazervitch I’ve been listening to Theo Von and Karlous Miller quite a bit lately
Blazervitch Vor Monat
@Wiji RS fair enough, i disagree - if you want someone with a natural atmosphere maybe try Lee Mack on "Would I lie to you?"
Wiji RS
Wiji RS Vor Monat
Blazervitch I’ve watched every special he’s ever done. He tries to be edgy, but the joke is very foreseeable and it’s usually cliche. I want to like him because of his topics along others things, but it’s all just too much of a show.
j p
j p Vor Monat
The obvious punchlines and deadpan humor, is the point. And these are just bits and pieces from hour long shows. Come on now.
Blazervitch Vor Monat
He does if u watch a full show
Kevin Füchtmann
0:55 the women in the middle is like "OMG"
Big Ben
Big Ben Vor Monat
She wasn't too impressed at the blind dog joke at 0:13 either. Lol. 🇬🇧
Ste S
Ste S Vor Monat
Fuckin mint Jimmy Carr is funny af😂😂😂😂😂😂😅😅
ardvarkkkkk1 Vor Monat
AngryDuck76 Vor Monat
Venison is dear.... Lol
DarkChesireCat Vor Monat
0:15 She does not look impressed
@Devin McDowell Yeah I don't think she's the right audience demographic for Jimmy's shows...
Devin McDowell
Devin McDowell Vor Monat
She shows up a second time too, still looking pissed.
TommyBoy8771 Vor Monat
You mean his only one liners. Dude's been using the same material for a decade
Brand Vor Monat
anyone knows which show he was on that had that live band and smoky backdrop?
Davee Dee
Davee Dee Vor Monat
That was part of his stage shows recorded for DVD.
RetroAdzz Vor Monat
dorian brooker
dorian brooker Vor Monat
"How do you make a gay fuck a woman"? "Shit in her cunt"
DrummerDucky Vor Monat
The liners are good, but your style doesn't fit a compilation of liners. It's something that works for acts like Hedburg, Wright or Dangerfield.
Trip*Like*I*Do Vor Monat
My fav. 'Nurse finds a thermometer in her pocket and thinks...some asshole's got my pen'.
Ferelcapo Vor Monat
oh fuck that took me a while
Reubens Ralte
Reubens Ralte Vor Monat
I ran through the streets mid_traffic and some guy yelled 'are you fucking stupid' and i look back and said ' i use too, but now we broke up'
Daniel Watts
Daniel Watts Vor Monat
Jimmy carr is brilliant 😂😂😂😂 He is the best at this.
Daniel Tomlinson
What show is the smoking scene from?
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