I can’t do this anymore | Glow up Diaries Episode 16

Alivia D'Andrea
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❒ Episode 16 was filmed: April 2019 - August 2019
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ABOUT THE GLOW UP DIARIES: At rock bottom I picked up a camera and began documenting my physical and mental pain that seemingly existed without meaning. For the next two years I recorded the “Glow Up Diaries” which is a raw docu-series of my deepest, most painful moments in an effort to find a newer, brighter existence. I openly share my difficulties despite the insistence of the media that such “shameful” feelings be kept in a closet.

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29 Jul 2020



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Alivia D'Andrea
Alivia D'Andrea Vor 11 Tage
NOTE: My thought process and mindset has taken a complete 180. Who I was in this episode is not who I am now. New episodes of Season 2 of the Glow up Diaries (the final season) will be released every Wednesday beginning end of October 2020!! Subscribe and turn on the bell notification to get notified when I post!! You can also follow the glow up diary instagram account for updates: @a.glow.up.diary
an eye story
an eye story Vor 19 Stunden
Have you ever heard about intuitive nutrition ? I highly recommand you to have a look on it
zoe rice
zoe rice Vor 2 Tage
Is that instagram account that's a dating diary actually you or no?
Vanessa Bulintao
Vanessa Bulintao Vor 4 Tage
Allison Hebert
Allison Hebert Vor 4 Tage
Yay!!!! Love ur vids
Lily's Life
Lily's Life Vor 5 Tage
Can you do a how to stay healthy during the school year? Like how not to get hungry during class or some other topics?
Viktoria Rose
Viktoria Rose Vor 8 Stunden
Olivia ur beautiful
Marcelly Ferri
Marcelly Ferri Vor 10 Stunden
This video looks like it was made for me
Dark lapis
Dark lapis Vor 10 Stunden
Honestly if you are in a healthy weight you don't need to lose more it's just not worth it im obese and I lost 18 pounds because i got help from my family in mexico i saw a nutritionist and she helped me so much i went from 220 to 202 im so happy and i want to go below 200 i just want to lose weight for me to livelonger and to move more have more energy i love your videos too
Ohemaa Bruce
Ohemaa Bruce Vor 10 Stunden
IQ , EQ , SQ , AQ .....According to psychologists, there are four types of intelligence: 1) Intelligence Quotient (IQ) 2) Emotional Quotient (EQ) 3) Social Quotient (SQ) 4) Adversity Quotient (AQ) 1. Intelligence Quotient (IQ): this is the measure of your comprehension ability", solve maths; memorize things and recall subject matters. 2. Emotional Quotient (EQ): this is the measure of your ability to maintain peace with others; keep to time; be responsible; be honest; respect boundaries; be humble, genuine and considerate. 3. Social Quotient (SQ): This is the measure of your ability to build a network of friends and maintain it over a long period of time. People that have higher EQ and SQ tend to go farther in life than those with high IQ but low EQ and SQ. Most schools capitalize in improving IQ level while EQ and SQ are played down. A man of high IQ can end up being employed by a man of high EQ and SQ even though he has an average IQ. Your EQ represents your character; your SQ represents your charisma. Give in to habits that will improve these three Qs but more especially your EQ and SQ. EQ and SQ make one manage better than the other. Pls don't teach children only to have higher IQ , but also to have higher EQ and SQ. Now there is a 4th one : A new paradigm 4. The Adversity Quotient (AQ): The measure of your ability to go through a rough patch in life and come out without losing your mind. AQ determines who will give up in face of troubles and may abandon their families. *To parents*: Expose children to other areas of life than academic. They should adore manual work (never use work as a form of punishment), sport and art . Develop their EQ, SQ and AQ. They should become multifaceted human beings able to do things independently of the parents. Finally, do not prepare the road for the children. *Prepare the children for the road*. Robert Dzekle Myles
reiokei Vor 11 Stunden
Alivia, I'm not a fitness coach or anything. I barely know enough about losing weight. But stop making yourself feel bad by binging. The only way to lose weight is by a caloric deficit. If your diets consist of the everyday, broccoli, chicken, and rice, and oats. Then you're going to relapse into binging. Please watch Greg doucette. He's taught me everything I know about eating and feeling satisfied. I don't binge because I feel content with my eating habits and diet. I bought his cookbook because losing weight doesn't need to be boring. I can eat pizzas and burgers and sweets and still lose weight while feeling full. I'm not bragging, no, that's not what this comment is about. But please watch Greg doucette. He's changed the way my diet has been. I'm much happier and can eat my diet every day and feel full.
Katie Delight
Katie Delight Vor 11 Stunden
I realize I have an unhealthy mindset with my body. I workout, eat normally, and the numbers on the scale stay the same or higher. I need to realize that the numbers are not that important, keep a healthy schedule, and mindset.
seraphina Vor 12 Stunden
I, relate, to, you, 100%
Stefanie Manners
Stefanie Manners Vor 12 Stunden
Alivia I hope you realise how many people your helping. Thank you
Amanda Barbosa
Amanda Barbosa Vor 13 Stunden
This made me cry because is exactly where I am today
Jackeline Urena
Jackeline Urena Vor 14 Stunden
I feel like you should study psychology, it would help you find out more things about yourself and human behavior. You’re strong and beautiful don’t let your weight get to you that way.❤️
Joanna P
Joanna P Vor 17 Stunden
I didn't finish reading Brain Over Binge, but it's what helped me start my bingeing recovery! Nothing had helped before that.
bin Vor 17 Stunden
seeing someone else going through this makes me feel a bit more normal. ive been struggling with anorexia for about 3 1/2 years, and ive never been underweight or really lost anything significant, which does me in for a fuck ton of self hatred. seeing you be aware of toxic thoughts like mine youre having makes me have a little more hope that someday ill be aware too, and i wont be confused forever. maybe ill be better soon
an eye story
an eye story Vor 19 Stunden
Have you ever heard about intuitive nutrition ? I highly recommand you to have a look on it
bathroom covers
bathroom covers Vor 19 Stunden
i recovered after over 1,5 year of anorexia nervosa and your channel inspired me do go further and even start my own yt channel! Thank you so so much
Little Cloud
Little Cloud Vor 20 Stunden
You need Jesus, he loves You sm and will take on His arms all Your chains
Krisha Yvette Ayson
Krisha Yvette Ayson Vor 21 Stunde
I suggest you take a break from social media
Sara Alexandra
Sara Alexandra Vor 22 Stunden
''If you want to change something, you have to love it into changing. You cannot hate something into changing.''
Jayesh P
Jayesh P Vor 23 Stunden
10:40 she sounds like Rachel from f.r.i.e.n.d.s
reem agrama
reem agrama Vor 23 Stunden
a great solution for binging is to STOP BRINGING THINGS YOU DONT WANT TO CONSUME INTO YOUR HOUSE . ily but you have to find a solution. no hate at all, everyone struggles with weight loss. TIP: do NOT use the scale everyday, maybe once a week, it discourages you makes you want to give up. use the scale maybe at the end of every week,, this is for everyone btw
CherryBrave Vor Tag
I admire her that she shows her vulnerability and flaws in public. It makes her soo authentic and human. It really moves me because she told the problem i think most of girls have more or less. I also binged eating but i didnt know how to stop it. Then i found out the problem is that when i felt stressed or when i let myself too hungry or when i ate unconsciously, i was inclined to binge eating. Now i try to balance my work and personal life, eat when i feel "medium" hungry and put away my phone or no tv when eating, i can see clearly that i have made improvement. Of course not everytime i can do it, because sometimes i still let myself free float. But in general, i have made much progress and i feel good about myself
Californian Karina
I can't believe how far you've come! I remember finding you when you had a few episodes released. It's been nice to have someone to go on this journey with.
sophie manrique
Dear Alivia, You have no idea how much this series have changed my life. I was like you, I binge ate (because I’m gluten free and regular food always tasted so good even though it was so bad for my body) there is so much info I had no idea about and I probably wouldn’t have known about if it wasn’t for you. You are such a brave person for sharing your story. Thank you - a very happy subscriber
aaron _h
aaron _h Vor Tag
Hi alivia, you probably won't read this because there are 2003 other comments under this video, but I just wanted to say, that I have similar (dont want to say the same but pretty much the same) problem/s and you're helping me so much right now to understand myself better and even recognize that other people see myself probably much more worthy than I do myself. When I look at you I see a strong and beautiful girl that struggles to see what other people see in her. But I know that it's much more difficult to believe in oneselve. So just saying that you can keep going and I am going to make many changes in my life like you do. Youre such an inspiration and I'm glad I found your channel. (Excuse my language mistakes, English is not my native language.)
Sophie Houdek
I can relate to this so much thank you for sharing your journey with us❤️
Mitali Terse
Mitali Terse Vor Tag
Hey best way to be happy is accepting to be yourself..... Don't be ashamed of yourself..... Love yourself..... When you go to gym don't think you went to lose weight think you went cuz you want to be fit and healthy..... Don't force yourself.....you can change your diet instead of eating less.....eat less fatty food, less oily food......hope it might help.... It's all depends upon thinking..... Think healthier way.....start competing with negative mind..... Cuz that's how I do....take care 😊😊❤
Nass Orra
Nass Orra Vor Tag
You are beautiful you are just an inspiration
Erika Baj
Erika Baj Vor Tag
This serie is so good! Alivia, you are so brave to share all of this with us! I feel the same sometimes but I hide it in my own space away from everyone to know. So thank you for your courage, for sharing, for You
Purnima Vor Tag
nabilah nuraini
hi alivia, I have a good advice about hunger told by Shaykh Dr. Umar Faruq "Hunger is the first element of self-discipline. If you can control what you eat and drink, you can control everything else." maybe you can control your hunger with fasting. I have recomendation book for you, the tittle is "the miracle of enzym" written by hiromi shinya.
Madison Callaghan
It seems like every episode is a cycle of a hard place, a binge, and a "breakthrough" and starting over, and then it all begins again the next episode
Alivia D'Andrea
Yes that was what happened in my real life and I wanted to be transparent with you guys about my journey. This cycle ends in the first episode of season 2
FrenchMoomoo Vor Tag
It's not a diet problem, it's psychologic problem. The way that you see yourself is the key.
TikTak Vor Tag
2:59 gosh you don't need makeup you look amazing
Srii Nithi
Srii Nithi Vor Tag
Ur beautiful no matter what💖
Moodibunni Vor Tag
Love watching your videos since they’re so inspirational and well made~ I’m currently living in Taipei, so seeing all the familiar sceneries and mrt stations was also very interesting 😆
Petra Uhráková
It feels like you’re eating/exercising almost compulsively. You’re not enjoying it; you want to get things done. Exercising *should not* be the consequence of your eating. I get that it’s hard and it’s probably this big loop of being in and out of control, but maybe that’s why you keep binging. Loosen up a bit, sweetheart. Don’t be so hard on yourself. 💗 I have a tip for you: when you get a urge to binge on unhealthy food, try to imagine the aftermath. You’re not gonna feel good, your stomach will probably hurt and you will be fatigued. Instead eat a piece of cheese or some fruit and vegetables. This way, you’re both fueling your body and eating something sweet/good for you. Good luck. ✨💗
Black Moonshine
Just let me say this, you are SO strong don't forget that
Tinsi Jayesh
Tinsi Jayesh Vor Tag
Am I the only one who read pie in 01:40 instead of pleasure 🤦
Michelle Kyereh
Michelle Kyereh Vor 2 Tage
im a bit young but i kinda struggle to stick to a workout whether i liked it or not i just get bored of things easily soooooooooo i thought that i should try different workouts that i enjoy everytime i workout🤯🤗 if u u also get bored of workouts too u could definlty try this out, i struggle with with consistency and she didnt mention trying this out if u find it hard to stick to a rountine... just trying to help 🤗😚💖✌️
Diane Okelu
Diane Okelu Vor 2 Tage
I try not eat but I always give in & end up eating some cereal or something . I just want to be 110 again.. I was 110 then I started my period & gained 4 or 5 pounds I wasn’t worried about it bc I usually loose it somehow but not this time now im 116 or 115 it changes every day & I hate it Ughhhhhhhh
Raveendran T.M
Raveendran T.M Vor 2 Tage
Hlo.... sissy to to reduce thigh muscles? Recommend for a exercise...
Jojo Bananas
Jojo Bananas Vor 2 Tage
Her: i can’t binge any food today Me: I can’t stop binge- watching this series
Em & Kt
Em & Kt Vor Tag
same hahahaha
0RAYE0 Vor 2 Tage
Dude seriously you could become a life coach! You've helped me so much and taught me about the mental state I need to live a healthy life.
Tommy Park
Tommy Park Vor 2 Tage
I believe overcoming addiction is more so motivation related than anything else...
Hi Hi :P
Hi Hi :P Vor 2 Tage
You're very beautiful!
Loutfi Imane
Loutfi Imane Vor 2 Tage
wait what i think her body is fine, she is so pretty
Lucia Balaguer Hope
I’m so happy you’ve made these videos it makes me feel like I’m not alone
I love your videos and you make me a better person... I love you so much
mikea hiooi
mikea hiooi Vor 2 Tage
think that anyone can believe that they are capable. It’s not that you can’t eat unhealthy it’s that you don’t because you are worth nurturing and loving.❤️
Giselle Lee
Giselle Lee Vor 2 Tage
If I knew you were here, I could introduce you some gym friends in Taipei. Then you might be less painful about your self image. You look perfect, why are you so anxious about your appearance.
mikea hiooi
mikea hiooi Vor 2 Tage
Guys does anyone know the song she uses at the end of her videos?
Brianna McCarthy
Brianna McCarthy Vor 2 Tage
When you work out you burn fat and gain muscle. Muscle weighs more than fat so weighing yourself is not an accurate representation of your health. Instead you can measure yourself using a measuring tape. Alternatively, you could set a goal of being able to run a certain distance in a certain amount of time or being able to lift a certain amount of weight to see your progression. Don't base your goals off of other people's standards. If you want to be healthy, do it for you, no one else. Just remember, you are not your weight. You shouldn't compare yourself to others because everyone's body is different and that's a good thing. Lots of love to everyone trying to improve their lifestyle. You can do it, never give up. ❤️️❤️️❤️️
jk • 전국아
jk • 전국아 Vor 2 Tage
Haha muscle doesn’t weigh more 😅 its like the pound of feather pound of steel argument. muscle is denser than fat so visually fat is more than muscle
Johanna König
Johanna König Vor 2 Tage
I'm proud of you sharing your journey.
Aldarsa G
Aldarsa G Vor 2 Tage
Youre beautiful 💜
iifloral Vor 3 Tage
i wish i could stay being healthy. i will literally eat healthy and get up early only for like 2 days then just go back. i hate it
sj ws2
sj ws2 Vor 3 Tage
when you cry you made me cry
Deena Kassab
Deena Kassab Vor 3 Tage
Guys, i'm trying my best to keep my life on track i feel lost those couple of weeks(most of the time i guess).i'm about to go to college maybe this year or the following one i'm so confused and don't know wut to do. Actually, no one in my family really understands me ,and i think i'm struggling because of this reason specificlly.I tried today to organize my day and i think it kinda work.I'm trying my best i'm not sure about wether i'm doing right or wrong .I just don't wanna regret anything anymore and be happy . (I'll update if anything changed just i hope for you guys to leave comment or an advice maybe and i'll be super grateful).
Olivia J
Olivia J Vor 3 Tage
Sometimes clothes can really help. E.g. if you feel off about your thighs, jeans which hug them will only fixate you on them, try a short/midi skirts or dresses, it leaves a mystery as to what they look like. What do you like or not mind about your body? Maybe look into that area being the figure hugging part. We don’t don’t need to hate our selves be we are allowed to dislike what we wear.
Trish Austria
Trish Austria Vor 3 Tage
Alivia i love the glow up diaries! seriously made me start a New me. you are akways inspiring, we hope you keep on inspiring us and remember that you,'re never alone. you've got us
aliva your body is so pretty you are great!
Rozhin. art
Rozhin. art Vor 3 Tage
Alivia you're beautiful, talented, strong and a really really smart girl!! I love you so much! I hope that you can be always happy and confident because life is short and there is not time for being unconfident even tho everyone can feel unconfident sometimes but don't let it destroy your life.
yroohj gouy
yroohj gouy Vor 3 Tage
Sophie Airey
Sophie Airey Vor 3 Tage
WISH I had this to watch earlier on
Midnight Sky
Midnight Sky Vor 3 Tage
Honestly I don’t think I can physically wait until October. This series is my favourite thing in life!!
yroohj gouy
yroohj gouy Vor 3 Tage
think that anyone can believe that they are capable. It’s not that you can’t eat unhealthy it’s that you don’t because you are worth nurturing and loving.❤️
Amélia Lebeau
Amélia Lebeau Vor 3 Tage
I could've just watch everything in 1 day ( except for the 2 last episodes) but instead I took my time. When I felt bad and sad , when all my motivation was gone, I would watch an episode and think "she was through the same and now she achieved her goals. It's time for YOU to achieve YOURS". Honestly I'm eating healthy for 1 week now. It took me times to gain my balance but now I have it. I'm going to have medecines for my depression and to see a psy for my bulimia. I was about to give up everything but you remind me not to and brought me back my hope. Anyway, I just wanted to say THANK YOU!( from France).
fahmida akhtar
fahmida akhtar Vor 3 Tage
OMG JUST LIKE you don't evan need to lose your weight your fine
A N Vor 3 Tage
Guys does anyone know the song she uses at the end of her videos?
vinni's art
vinni's art Vor 3 Tage
3 years back I was watching her video how to do split and now I'm watching her glow up diaries
min gemma
min gemma Vor 3 Tage
Girl your body was perfect not overweight at all
Emma Krög
Emma Krög Vor 3 Tage
Wow this is so relatable.
Leah H
Leah H Vor 3 Tage
See my logic for my eating is eat things that make me feel good I can eat whatever I want as long as it’s atleast a bit healthy and I try to do a little bit of exersize a day But I k ow it’s not that easy hope your better ☺️
Melanie Dsouza
Melanie Dsouza Vor 3 Tage
Alivia.....remember.... Livis Fearce Friday !!!❤
Azade Donmez
Azade Donmez Vor 3 Tage
I have the same journey as you and seeing you overcome it really makes me think that its not to late for me.
Harriet Teebs
Harriet Teebs Vor 4 Tage
Pretty ironic that I saw 2 ads for hungry jacks in a video about improving your eating habits
Nada Vor 4 Tage
هو الموضوع كبير اوي كده 😂!
JiaLin Zhen
JiaLin Zhen Vor 4 Tage
Your an inspiration!
Lu Presents
Lu Presents Vor 4 Tage
This series is everything , I relate to it but in a different way
Freya Hall
Freya Hall Vor 4 Tage
You are amazing and you can do this x
alida flus
alida flus Vor 4 Tage
think that anyone can believe that they are capable. It’s not that you can’t eat unhealthy it’s that you don’t because you are worth nurturing and loving.❤️
Savannah Oshun
Savannah Oshun Vor 4 Tage
Thank you for sharing your story. I don’t feel so alone now.
alida flus
alida flus Vor 4 Tage
Omg don't cry it's making me cry. You look so beautiful the way you are.
Leslie M
Leslie M Vor 4 Tage
🍁Hi Alivia! Your journey is truly inspiring.🤩 Thank you so much for sharing it with us! Keep up the amazing work!! I also love the way you edit and make you videos so pretty and catchy. What editing program do you use for these lovely videos! Have a good day, Alivia! 😇Kisses from Montréal, Canada🍁
T. F.
T. F. Vor 4 Tage
I feel like Alivia, Satan is tempting you with binging. God gives freedom over all pain and with him we can have control over temptations. He gives us the strength to overcome these obstacles. God is love and power. I agree with everything you said but I would say thank God for everything, every time you feel like binging, remember God fights your battles. Satan has no control over our life if we believe in God. I love these series tho. Stay blessed ❤️
T. F.
T. F. Vor 14 Stunden
@ew you're rude but that's okay
ew Vor 14 Stunden
T. F. oh, so you got the message. k bye
T. F.
T. F. Vor 14 Stunden
@ew let me teach how to be a basic human. "Hi, I really appreciate the concern, however, I believe that the brain's triggers a lot of her binging. I don't personally agree with your religion but I appreciate your concern and I wish you the best." 🙂
T. F.
T. F. Vor 15 Stunden
@ew be respectful, human decency check
ew Vor 15 Stunden
lmao satan, it’s your brain that triggers everything, not ur religious bullshit.
Ellen Bell
Ellen Bell Vor 4 Tage
the cycle you showed about triggers, your behavior to counteract the negative thoughts, and the relief you feel afterwards is very similar to OCD. not saying that you have ocd or anything but it is something to look into. A lot of overcoming ocd is learning how to deal with the intrusive thoughts that cause the stress which leads to mental or physical behaviors to relieve stress.
Brittney Adams
Brittney Adams Vor 4 Tage
I watched all of these in 2 days and I can't wait for season 2
Rachel Elizabeth
Rachel Elizabeth Vor 4 Tage
Love your filming style you really inspire me!
Isa Vor 4 Tage
That end note about season 2 made me soo happy!!
Hev Vor 4 Tage
You should make like audios things (prod casts?) and put it on Spotify like workouts, help you sleep, how to have a healthy diet ect!
Laís Cristina
Laís Cristina Vor 4 Tage
Alivia, uma vez assisti a sua live no instagram e te disse "obrigado,você mudou a minha vida! " E realmente, seguir o seu canal me fez/faz muito bem. Passei por uma situação como essa recentemente e relembra-la me fez chorar. Chorar muito... Tudo ficará bem! Sinta se abraçada. Da sua maior fã brasileira,Laís. ❤
Rat Vor 4 Tage
Alivia your so inspiring I'm trying to be like you when I go back to school I'm going to have a *somewhat* clear face, actually try when I put together an outfit, study more, stop comparing myself to others, eat more healthy and yeah. I'm going to put what I did today here everyday. Day 1: I woke up, went on my phone, ate, then I'll get ready for the day and take my dog on a walk. Does anyone have any ideas on what to do in your free time? All I do is just eat sleep play video games play with dog walk dog read eat sleep then repeat it's boring and depressing.
Vanessa Bulintao
Vanessa Bulintao Vor 4 Tage
Im watching this while my 15 year old sister writing her new diet, motivation words, etc. On her diary😑she also have pictures of skinny legends on her diary😐shes always like this before we sleep..she have been on a 24 hour. fasting and she always tell me that she really wants to lose weight fast.. like gurl me too but atleast ive been working out everyday and eating healthy BUT I EAT A LOT thats why both of us dont lose weight😣😂..
Alexia Kuhn
Alexia Kuhn Vor 4 Tage
イースター アラ
Olga Lorens
Olga Lorens Vor 4 Tage
the things you said about binging are exactly how i used to feel when i binged a lot in the past 3 years...im happy it's in the past now
Afra Samreen
Afra Samreen Vor 4 Tage
U Inspire me.
Person Ayyy
Person Ayyy Vor 4 Tage
I feel like your amazing your body doesn’t define you you amazing girl! I’m proud of you for finding happiness if you ever feel upset or sad just know that you deserve happiness and your AMAZINGGGGGG love you girl🥰
Mudunuri Hansika
Mudunuri Hansika Vor 5 Tage
Omg don't cry it's making me cry. You look so beautiful the way you are.
hehehehe ummm
hehehehe ummm Vor 5 Tage
This is so triggering, this is literally videos of her ed
Annie Jirovec
Annie Jirovec Vor 5 Tage
seeing you cry makes me wanna cry. I really understand the toxic thoughts and where they come from. I always go to these videos for inspiration to keep going on my glow up journey
cassie aguilar
cassie aguilar Vor 5 Tage
She literally needs a Netflix series
Nada Belarbi
Nada Belarbi Vor 5 Tage
3:05 😂😂 My name is Hikaru
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