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What I Wish I Knew Before DATING A GERMAN

Wanted Adventure
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My German husband and I have been together for almost 9 years now! So as an American, here are a few things I wish I had known about Germany and Germans in general before I started dating a German.
So my question for you is: What is your take on these things? And what’s been your experience with this in your own life?
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8 Nov 2017

GermanGermanyGermansDeutschDeutschlanddatingdating Germansdating in GermanyAmerican in GermanyAmerican datingAmericanMr. German ManAmerican in Europecultureculture Germanyculture Americaculture USAUSAAmericaAmerica vs. GermanyGermany versus USAculture differencesrelationshipsliving abroadWanted AdventureDana Newman

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KOMMENTARE 2 731
Kale Ling
Kale Ling Vor year
That happiness tier in the outtakes was a perfect way to describe your differences.
David Roche
David Roche Vor 4 Monate
By school do you mean the "Nazi" youth?
Man in the mirror
Man in the mirror Vor 4 Monate
Kale Ling we also learned that in school but yes we germans are very direct
David Roche
David Roche Vor 7 Monate
what?
Bryan McCormick
Bryan McCormick Vor 8 Monate
as an American i completely sympathize with Mr. German Man... i assume the person already knows all the positive qualities and just needs the negative aspect their ego is keeping them from being unfiltered... i'm taking german classes now and not taking complete advantage of how nice my teacher is, she tried explaining to us how round-about americans are and i think there is a cross-cultural thing of aloofness but there is an american and a european deviation from that aloofness that struggles with how to describe modern reactivity........ then again the internet is only 2.41 years old in my mind so maybe we've just lost all sense of metric scale
Vandana Alemagar
Vandana Alemagar Vor 21 Stunde
👍👍
Alice Wilde
Alice Wilde Vor 5 Tage
This isn't unique to Germans everybody outside US is like this. It's Americans that are weird.
Alice Wilde
Alice Wilde Vor 5 Tage
I can't work out whether her teeth are real or not.
Christian Gyamfi
Christian Gyamfi Vor 10 Tage
I actually believe that not all cases need direct approach and at the same time not all cases need massaging and emotional approach. There should be a balance depending on the situation at hand.
Willy Octavianus
Willy Octavianus Vor 10 Tage
4:11 !! . totally! that's perfect! i am dying etc etc etc. south canadians...
Smug Smugly
Smug Smugly Vor 11 Tage
You know what they say about red heads.....
Martina T.
Martina T. Vor 16 Tage
The video and comment section is spot on describing German, imagine, a German is married to a Japanese .... I try to get better but if you grew up in Germany, it is hard to find that you are very mmmmh. ......
Eliza Ivanova
Eliza Ivanova Vor 16 Tage
Also, he's a man. How about a list "Things I would like to know about men when I started dating", would be pretty much the same. Or at least most European men.
Carrie Davis
Carrie Davis Vor 18 Tage
My German boyfriend says not complaining is as good as a compliment because we know they did try to find something to complain about lol
Thalia Davies
Thalia Davies Vor 21 Tag
You are the most abrasive American I’ve come across yet.
ABOE by Marga
ABOE by Marga Vor 23 Tage
ah ah!! I am married to a German also, living in Germany and totally agree with your points, just the insurance not :P my husband or his friends dodn't talk a lot about insurances but he wants to have all the possible insurances. I guess it has to do with the culture of "expecting ahead the worst" :P
Perfectly Imperfekt
You sensitive? Then heck. Just thank them for directness. I prefer this type of people. Atleast they are not two faced. But then the lack of emotion is pretty cold. Americans are known for being loud in England. Lol. Everyone can hear them talk in the train. Lol. Not good.
Anna Khan
Anna Khan Vor 24 Tage
subscribe me
Jasmin
Jasmin Vor Monat
The first point is not true, Germans learn the same thing.. first some positive stuff and then the negative things
DollyBear X
DollyBear X Vor Monat
Wtf is up with the audio
猫だよ
猫だよ Vor Monat
2:39 lol
DSP16569
DSP16569 Vor Monat
Same like "I Love you" in german vs US ;-) - In German only used for People we would die for, in the US for everybody they maybe like ;-)
Lynn Abunai
Lynn Abunai Vor Monat
New Yorkers and Germans are perfect matches
Steven Homan
Steven Homan Vor Monat
you were more than likely taught to react in a non confrontational female way. men aren't like this. Americans also exaggerate and introduce verbal inflation into their language use. insurance is a practical consideration, not an emotional one.
Little Boy
Little Boy Vor Monat
1:20. I learned that in school too. And I’m German.
Mary Baaldaan
Mary Baaldaan Vor Monat
Lol, I’m a german kid and I got told in school, that you should always name a good thing first too... I think it’s often because many Germans don’t like to „play around“ , they just say things directly, because they don’t see a sense in spinning around
NEXIS981
NEXIS981 Vor Monat
Als Deutscher empfände ich es als unmutig oder charakterschwach, wenn mir jemand nicht direkt sagt daß bei mir "was falsch läuft". Es käme mir vor als traut er/sie sich nicht, mir etwas direkt zu sagen. -> Soll jetzt nicht heißen daß ich euch Amerikaner für charakterschwach und unmutig halte! Ich verstehe ja auch warum ihr es so macht :) Ihr wollt jemanden erst belobigen bevor ihr ihm eine Kritik ins Gesicht knallt. Quasi etwas aufbauendes sagen, bevor man etwas abbauendes sagt. Ich denke wir deutschen sind so, weil wir nach dem Kredo leben: "Nur durch Fehler lernt man". Daher möchten wir wahrscheinlich direkt wissen/sagen was falsch läuft :) Die aufbauenden Komplimente über das was gut läuft dürfen aber gerne hinterher kommen ^^ Das sind eben die kulturellen Unterschiede. Wäre ja langweilig wenn wir alle gleich wären ;D *Daumen hoch*
Lisa M Hernandez
Make a video on what kind of insurances don't exist in America :)
Sherry Caraway
Sherry Caraway Vor Monat
It's annoying to watch you. You speak in an exaggerated way, like you are shouting instead of speaking. Your mouth movements are too exaggerated too. Your arms flailing around with your shouting and mouth movements are so very annoying. Why can't you just speak in a normal calm conversational tone? I have to stop watching since you are soo shouty and annoying. You are yet one more person who thinks their incoherent ramblings are so interesting you deserve to enlighten the world with your boring bullshit.
Schubert Jörg
Schubert Jörg Vor Monat
So Frollein. Denn übe ich jetzt mal Kritik auf amerikanisch: Du bist ja wirklich wunderschön und dein Englisch ist so klar, dass ich es auch größtenteils ohne Untertitel verstehe. Aber: Dein Herumgefuchtel mit den Armen g e h t m i r a u f d e n SACK!!! Ich hab's versucht, klappte nicht ganz. Denn es geht mir wirklich tierisch auf die Nerven. Willst du Fliegen verscheuchen oder was soll das? Wiss frändlie grietings Jörg
Jo Hennes
Jo Hennes Vor Monat
I guess you characterized us Germans pretty well. About the first point I hafta say that there are many fellow countrymen who handle things like this: telling directly what all the fuss is about. It stil is a question of character (and maybe also education) if they will adress it it you immediately. I also know many guys who would never do it that way. Thanks anyway, it's a pretty interesting summary about us from an "outsider"!
Verbal Ästhet
Verbal Ästhet Vor Monat
That insurance thing at the end seems to be just a topic of interest of that group of your friends. But the other points seem totally normal for Germans. I'd say the rest is typical German culture.
Dave Ankeny
Dave Ankeny Vor Monat
Most Germans tend to think most Americans are pretty fake with their reactions.
Jack Currence
Jack Currence Vor Monat
You've mentioned the insurance thing before, and I have to admit that it kind of cracks me up. As an American, I tend to share your view of the concept (necessary, but nothing to get excited about), so hearing that it is fascinating to your husband and some of his friends is somewhat odd.
Shelley May
Shelley May Vor Monat
I really want to know what kinds of insurance they were discussing.
Anita Radmanic
Anita Radmanic Vor Monat
The direct thing... That's why Americans are such snowflakes -.-"
A
A Vor 2 Monate
i know our pee pee’s are smol.
Mou Chowdhury
Mou Chowdhury Vor 2 Monate
First of all they have this huge fetish for poop
Philipp S
Philipp S Vor 2 Monate
Well, you don't conquer Poland by holding back you know
JOHN's Collections & Reviews
Did u sex with him ?
Cneepie
Cneepie Vor 2 Monate
Doing something in a good, or right way means to do it as you were expected to do it. You will only get good compliments if you do it in an outstanding good way. Getting an honest critic is the perfect opportunity to improve yourself. Embrace it. No need to beat around the bushes.
Knall Kopf
Knall Kopf Vor 2 Monate
I want a date with a american woman, why not!? ;-)
Vivian Heckscher
Vivian Heckscher Vor 2 Monate
I think you are talking about boy and girl differences mostly and not about amarikan and German differences.. so just for you its a guy... ;) my boy and I are both from Germany and could have the same problems... ;) but I really liked your way to impress the things
Christopher Straub
Christopher Straub Vor 2 Monate
Thank you for your video! I'm German and lived half a year in Cali.. If only I had known the American way to express things earlier... it would have helped me also a lot!! :D
Sipaktli 13
Sipaktli 13 Vor 2 Monate
You look waaaaaay too excited for me and I'm Mexican lol
Enricom23
Enricom23 Vor 2 Monate
German Men don't have mutilated dicks, unlike American Men...
Carissa N
Carissa N Vor 2 Monate
I never thought so much about the showing of excitement & scaling of positive adjectives but it helps to hear it from another born American to make it clear to me that maybe Germans are more excited than they convey in their words and expressions.
Meghan Forward
Meghan Forward Vor 2 Monate
As an American with German family I don’t understand the tendency to over exaggerate either. Who says “ omg this is the best, super, super really most amazing __ ever!” It just comes across as phony and incredibly superficial. Say less and mean what you say.
Mathew Schuh
Mathew Schuh Vor 2 Monate
Are you sure it is not just personality?
Mathew Schuh
Mathew Schuh Vor 2 Monate
I know my name looks very German, but I am American and it just sounds like me being described. None of my grandparents spoke German or were from there.
bienenpaps t
bienenpaps t Vor 2 Monate
Respect the "Hausordnung " ...Word for Word and in every Detail !
Afro Dite
Afro Dite Vor 3 Monate
Nice Video. But the color was off. Greetings from Germany
Craig Benz
Craig Benz Vor 3 Monate
Watching grass grow or paint dry would have been better than talking about insurance.
Leyla Svimona
Leyla Svimona Vor 3 Monate
U speak about nice interesting things but its hard to listen long time😓 pls talk lil relaxed😘
John Catty
John Catty Vor 3 Monate
I do not talk about insurance. Unless there is a person from another country who would like to understand the differences.
`
` Vor 3 Monate
you mean men are men in germany and not pussified with 3rd wave feminism as in america?
Trillock 1945
Trillock 1945 Vor 3 Monate
I think she would get to be rather annoying after a while....
Erik Carlson
Erik Carlson Vor 3 Monate
Germans made Mauser rifles = The best rifles ever made. These people knew/know how to focus, and deliver absolute quality.
8254953275
8254953275 Vor 3 Monate
I'm from Switzerland and I feel like many of this applies here as well. When I first visited America, I felt confused a lot of time from the facial expressions a lot of people. Also I think that in Europe, people are more relaxed than Americans when they are talking to people. People are not afraid to express their honest opinions.
Jixxor
Jixxor Vor 3 Monate
German here. In school, we too were told to first point out 1-3 positive things about someone's essay, power point or whatever, before adressing whatever we found negative. Well, it is more of an "do it because your teacher wants you to" thing, but outside of the class room, no one carried on with that approach. I mean, why would you do that? Will it make a mistake less significant just because there may be some positive bits around it? No. If there is anything wrong, it is best for everyone to adress it directly and sort out how to fix it. Is that thinking so unique to us germans? :o
Tabita S.
Tabita S. Vor Monat
Well, somehow it is. Every culture handles things differently. The thinking may be common among more than just a few cultures, aber die Ausführung, gerade sprachlich, sieht doch sehr unterschiedlich aus.
Rinkle
Rinkle Vor 3 Monate
If you think she's typical American.. you'd be wrong. I like the information and her videos but I can only watch a couple minutes because she's too hyper expressive and explains everything like everyone is stupid, like a preschool teacher LOL her heart's in the right place though (😳 realizing I just gave her two compliments with my critique LOL)
Rinkle
Rinkle Vor 3 Monate
She is very very long-winded and Hyper polite not typical American per se that's her personality! Although we are polite & she's completely right about the compliment before criticize
nicku1
nicku1 Vor 3 Monate
You forgot to mention (or you didn't notice) that they are deadly boring - every topic they approach must be handled ORDENTLICH and AUSFÜHRLICH. They are also completely devoid of sense of humour.
Matejko108
Matejko108 Vor 3 Monate
I'm german but I feel the same way as you about insurance :D
PAPASTHEGREAT
PAPASTHEGREAT Vor 3 Monate
You Dated a German omg 😂😂😂
Hailey Murray
Hailey Murray Vor 3 Monate
That would be funny if u where pregnant and u say "HONNEY IM PREGNANT " he would be like "oh wow" I just imagine that 😂
StephenNu9
StephenNu9 Vor 3 Monate
I read something about Swedish culture and was told it also applies to Germans as well. Characteristically, Swedish strangers don't smile at each other. If that happens, the Swede thinks the individual is 1) drunk, 2) an idiot, or 3) an American.
choochoochooseyou
choochoochooseyou Vor 3 Monate
I think it's more that Americans are OTT. I'm English and we would react the same as the Germans.
sam12587
sam12587 Vor 3 Monate
Wow. So I take after my German grandmother a lot even though I didn't get to see her much. I unintentionally piss people off all the time by getting straight to the point of being too blunt and not complimenting the mundane or the sufficient. So it must be another thing I got from her, lol.
nik falkenberg
nik falkenberg Vor 3 Monate
Insurence? No i never hear someone Speak about this and I am from germany .
Frank Zito
Frank Zito Vor 3 Monate
No that's just Man not only German Man , the exited face .
Cucos Tudor Daniel
Cucos Tudor Daniel Vor 3 Monate
My God, you are so tiresome... Way way to much "amazingly" loud voice and gestures. You're really bubbly and pretty typically american. That is somewhat tiring in the long run, to be honest. Hope your boyfriend manages that better than me, a random person on the internet.
vella87
vella87 Vor 3 Monate
We in Germany say “that’s not bad” or just “not bad” which basically means in America “that’s awesome!” And telling someone you look “not bad” is actually considered as a great compliment but mostly coming from guys
Evil_Ich
Evil_Ich Vor 3 Monate
maybe this would be the reason why hollywood is so successful ... you have more variety of emotions 😏
Joseph Stahl
Joseph Stahl Vor 3 Monate
I am so sorry
Coco Jumbo
Coco Jumbo Vor 3 Monate
Ich bin wohl nicht deutsch, weil einfach kein Punkt auf mich zutrifft...😂😂😂
KuraundoClown
KuraundoClown Vor 3 Monate
Germans are simple, if we dont complain about something its usually good. end of story and if somethings amazing we say its good, do be efficient you just have to adress the bad things. greetings from germany LUL
bombel
bombel Vor 3 Monate
Wow! That's so true. And that's the reason why virtually nobody likes the Germans in Europe. They are simply so direct and without any sense of humour. Their humour is rough and direct as well.
张宜臻
张宜臻 Vor 3 Monate
bombel if a German guy have good humor and personality ,i think he will get popular. but most German guy are not like this.
Ana Carolina Villalobos
My experience with Mr German man has been awesome but with a lot of cultural differences, pretty much the same as yours, I'm mexican and I can relate to a lot of what you've said. I'd add that they have a passion for routines, long walks and conversations about weather.
H.Shoaib Khan
H.Shoaib Khan Vor 3 Monate
Very nice, thanks for sharing this knowledge
Harmony J
Harmony J Vor 3 Monate
I feel like I’m more like Germans even though I’m American lmfao I don’t see the need to beat around the bush or over exaggerate my emotions
Rosi Asenova
Rosi Asenova Vor 3 Monate
As a bavarian you should know how to open a beer with a lighter. My boyfriend's friends said they will buy me a ticket back to bulgaria if i don't learn in a month :D as a joke of course but i learned anyway and it does make things easier 😂
Jane Burton
Jane Burton Vor 3 Monate
I think you dont have anything to tell the world. Just that you have a german boyfriend. Nothing else. But you upload videos about it. A lot videos. To many.
Feels Bad Man
Feels Bad Man Vor 3 Monate
But not every one is same ;) I'm German but I hate caring about insurance xD
Maureen Njeri N.
Maureen Njeri N. Vor 3 Monate
I need to get me a German man. I am not American but here in Kenya people's main description of me is that I 'tell it like it is' and generally don't bullshit. They constantly say if someone wants an honest opinion they should come to me. While these are positive, they really throw me off because I am nowhere near the 'brutality' they insinuate. In fact I feel as though I critique the American style most times. Seems like speaking your honest mind is deemed a rare trait and equated with being nasty.
Verlierer
Verlierer Vor 3 Monate
As an American, I hate people who beat around the bush. I like people to be direct with me. I find great value in directness.
It's Me
It's Me Vor 3 Monate
Never ever have I heard a sweet guy talk about insurances. xD Except… you know… SOMETIMES when you're so close that you also talk about medicine, finance and stuff. But during dating time in the beginning? NEVER! Direct? Yes. Impolite? No. Why waste time?! You can also tell the truth in a very nice way. :-) The excitement / happiness part when telling something: That's the same in most German-German relationships. I guess it's more a girl/boy thing.^^
Matthias Reineck
Matthias Reineck Vor 3 Monate
Well I'm jalious about you americans, how you are born to cheese-up difficulties into don't-worrys
Julian L
Julian L Vor 3 Monate
I didn't know that the "being-direct" thing is something about us germans. In school we learn the same thing. But i think we just do that in school and at work with people we don't know that much. I think it is a sign of trust that he was so direct towards you
DeichgrafHaien
DeichgrafHaien Vor 3 Monate
During the video, I thought you were on Speed or something like that ... I have never ever seen any German, neither women nor men, gesticulating that excessively. That's the German polite way to say it ... My wife put it in other words ... "I wish, someone would ... in her mouth." ;) Yes, we are quite direct sometimes *vbeg*
sarah
sarah Vor 3 Monate
I am Irish and my boyfriend is Austrian.... definitely can relate lol!!
Yasmin Alibazoglu
Yasmin Alibazoglu Vor 3 Monate
I appreciate the direct approach, personally. However communication that is flat and boring certainly does not help to make life interesting....
RetroMaticMike
RetroMaticMike Vor 3 Monate
hence why we get labeled as over the top over there
Redhead Update
Redhead Update Vor 3 Monate
What kind of insurance doesn't exist?
TrangleC
TrangleC Vor 3 Monate
The "Germans are too frank/direct" thing is very true. It makes those old John Wayne era movies about some "straight shooting" American Cowboy soldier coming to occupied post war Germany and showing those stuck up, pearl clutching Europeans what's what, very amusing, because of how upside down the premise is. I think in reality most Americans from the 50s, even John Wayne himself, would have ended up with red ears and white lips after a conversation with an average German. The insurance thing is weird to me too. Maybe because I'm not 100% German, but I never had a conversation about insurance and the thought of having one with my friends in a private setting is actually more than weird, rather outright alien to me.
TheDispleasedCow
TheDispleasedCow Vor 3 Monate
I can definitely relate to your husband with not showing excitement as dramatically. When someone comes to me with good news, I get excited, I just don't go over the top "OMG THATS SO AMAZING YAY!" and do a back flip. xD
The Goodly Dragon
The Goodly Dragon Vor 3 Monate
I'll be honest, as an American I can confirm that this is generally true (though of course there are massive exceptions) and I find it extremely irritating. If I hear "That was sooo LIIIT, dawg!" one more time I'll have to figure out how to get to Germany.
Tony me
Tony me Vor 3 Monate
So germans don't bullsh#t you and don't get all wound up arbout nothing? Can't see anything bad about that.
Tresen Isdochegal
Tresen Isdochegal Vor 3 Monate
First: your video is nice;). For me it helps to be more tolerant. Thanks for that. Second: not everone im germany talk about insurance. I think german can go deep in one subject and talk all night long about it. This can be insurance, but also the work or games or nature.... it depence on the type you meet and his/her group. Nice greetings.
Godfrey Jemand
Godfrey Jemand Vor 3 Monate
I live in Germany. I am from NYC... This woman is an IDIOT... First of all.. The bike lanes are RED and she should learn to look left and right before crossing... Go to London and before you cross against the light and look to the Right and you are dead. and German people do ring a their bell, although like many of us they just zoom by, but much safer than the bike messengers in NYC. Actually I hav't seen any in my area. Please AVOID idiots that use words like a BUNCH.. She talks about American beating around the bush... Not in NYC.. THIS Chipmonk waves her hands around and thinks EVERYTHING she likes and does is SO TOTALLY RIGHT. Like Ben Shapiro and Ann Coulter... All people who they don't like are all the same. I wish she would see how dumb she is... It is a Barbeque on the TERRACE, like smoking, it can annoy the neighbors... Anyone can go to a park and barbeque if they have a safe BB unit. It must be made for BB and be off the ground high enough. Also, DON#T go to Munich try Cologne, Berlin or Frankfurt first... Munich is the most conservative state in Germany. She has a Germany boyfriend, not a German husband. And she is willing to admit, "Nobody I knew...", means she only knows 10-20 people and they are as dumb as she is. She really doesn't care that she sould have stayed where she was born and save the world of this STUPID BS... I await your comments. Hit the but-in, maybe this should teach this Hysterical jerk... BUTT-in... I wish I knew about her before I saw a girl who can only go by what she was taught... No brain of her own... She should stay in Munich... I was taught to avoid idiots... BUT NOT IN SCHOOL. In school I was taught to listen to them.
Tabita S.
Tabita S. Vor Monat
Btw, I just looked more into it: She is married (look at their matching rings, wedding pictures etc.). Also, in a Q&A with her husband other things were confirmed that you refuted etc. And now should she avoid Munich (go somewhere else first) or stay there? And: on what authority do you speak? Do you know her personally that you know so much more than most of her subscribers?? Sorry, really curious. I await your reply, too. :)
Tabita S.
Tabita S. Vor Monat
Maybe she would be more inclined to read and possibly answer if you did not insult her every second sentence. Every school I have been to (or know of) teaches to not just through points out there, but to give reasons and back-up. You might have a point. I don't get it and do not see a reason for your comment. Kindly delete it or edit it. PS: An alle, die sagen, es würde nix bringen - danke, alles klar. Ich versuch's trotzdem einmal. :)
Michael Moreton
Michael Moreton Vor 3 Monate
I don't see too much difference in emotional expressions and use of superlatives used by American MEN and German MEN
Heather Banks
Heather Banks Vor 3 Monate
Can't these things apply to men in general ?
Mr cs93
Mr cs93 Vor 4 Monate
hahaha it happens when I think that my boyfriend is annoyed about something and i ask if he is okay and he replies yeah and when i ask ''are you sure'' it's very confusing for him when i ask that, and according to him it makes the whole situation uncomfortable because he had already replied that he was okay and can't understand why i ask ''are you sure'' xD
Jennifer Yang
Jennifer Yang Vor 4 Monate
Slightly annoyed by the fact that someone is referred to as "Mr German Man" I mean. You aren't called Ms American Woman.
TeeWurst2k
TeeWurst2k Vor 4 Monate
insurance ? you have it , yes. insurance are important , yes. but to talk about insurance for houres ? thats crazy
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